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Вантала DM says: «You see the person that everyone has been referring to either reverently or in terror.»
Meaning: «You went to go pick a fight with that? You knew this was a bad idea, run for it.»
Players hear: «Boss Fight Ho!»

DM says: «This bunch of people over here are your troops.»
DM means: «Having your orders get people killed has infinite entertainment value.»

DM says: «This campaign is going to take place over a limited amount of time.»
DM means: «Time stands still until I arbitrarily move the clock forward and declare you've wasted enough of it.»

DM says: «You're surprised to see him cackle as he stands up from the seemingly-mortal blow you gave him and turn invisible.»
DM means: «I am now cheating because the goddamn Barbarian one-shotted the BBEG in the middle of his Plot Exposition Speech.»

DM says: «A strange magnetic field prevents teleportation...»
DM means: «Stop trying to circumvent a good heist plot, wizard.»

DM says: «Unfortunately the game's kind of full right now and we don't really have room for a new player. We'll get in touch if a space opens up, though.»
DM means: «We'd rather chew broken glass than have you in the group.»

DM says: «You stock up on supplies.»
DM means: «You can buy anything in the Equipment chapter of the PHB. Please don't ask me individually about every 5sp purchase.»

DM says: «I don't like the stereotype of [x].»
DM means: «Half the plot of the campaign will be twisted around to avoid something which I think is a cliche and which nobody else cares about.»

DM says: «I'm not sure that's balanced.»
DM means: «It's broken as all hell, I'm never going to allow it, stop asking.»
Players hear: «I'm only saying no because I need more convincing. Please explain in detail how reasonable your character is with long and detailed arguments that compare it to other classes and builds.»

DM says: «No.»
DM means: «Hell no.»
Players hears: «Maybe.»

DM says: «I recommend these skills.»
DM means: «Take these skills, or you will DIE.»

DM says: «I think a little mood music is in order.»
DM means: «Let's see you track your Power Attack when I'm pumping Metallica!»

DM says: «Yeah, we like the small efficient group.»
DM means: «All these guys know the house rules. To teach you is too much effort.»

DM says: «There's one issue. The wizard's tower is warded against scrying and teleportation.»
DM means: «OH IT LOOKS LIKE THE BOOT OF ELVENKIND'S ON THE OTHER FOOT NOW MR WIZARD.»

DM says: «You see an empty hallway.»
DM means: «DC 30 Search for traps, DC 25 to disable, complex skill check, 5 successes before 3 failures. Oh, and the water flooding may cause a lapse in concentration, so it comes out to...»

DM says: «So, tell me your character's background history.»
DM means: «So, tell me how I'm going to get you into the party and plot.»
Players hear: «So, tell me a good long story about your character's childhood.»

DM says: «Technically, you can do this.»
DM means: "...but woe betide you if you do."

DM Says: «If you have a problem, talk to me privately rather than in front of the others.»
DM Means: «I'm willing to hear you out. But undermine me and I will crush you.»

DM Says: «Let me double check that.»
DM Means: «I knew I should have read the rule book/actually planned a plot.»

ST says: «Okay, we're going to be playing a mortals game.»
ST means: «You're going to be playing mortals. I'm going to be playing whatever kind of supernatural creature I feel like. Soon, you'll be playing cadavers.»
Players hear: «It's going to be a race to see who can acquire the coolest template first.»

DM says: «I don't allow evil PCs in my campaign.»
DM means: «PCs are supposed to be heroes.»
Players hear: «So CN is okay, yeah? SLAUGHTER TIME!»

DM says: «If it doesn't say it in the rules, then I decide how it works.»
DM means: «Stop contradicting me.»
Players hear: «I need you to keep arguing with me.»

DM says: «Be nice to the other players.»
DM means: «Don't antagonize people.»
Players hear: «Be mean to the DM instead.»

DM says: «This is my first time DMing, I'm interested to see how I'll do.»
DM means: «Be merciful!»

DM said: «This will be a complex game of intrigue, Machiavellian politics, and a sophisticated diplomacy system.»
DM means: «There will be guillotining and TPKs galore.»

DM says: «As you enter the 's bedchamber, you see a beautiful woman chained to the wall.»
DM means: «It's totally a medusa that's going to try and kill you when you try to free her.»

DM says: «One of the orcs is wearing some sort of special robes. He looks to be of some importance.»
DM means: «This guy is special and has info on next hook. Don't kill him and interrogate him after the battle.»
Players hear: «Caster. Kill him now.»

DM says: «You come across a Balor mounted on a Tarrasque.»
DM meana: «Keep acting stupid/powergaming and see what happens.»
Players hear: «The DM realized we're awesome enough to kill this. Extra xp, booyah!»
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