DM says: «You see the person that everyone has been referring to either reverently or in terror.»
Meaning: «You went to go pick a fight with that? You knew this was a bad idea, run for it.»
Players hear: «Boss Fight Ho!»
DM says: «This bunch of people over here are your troops.»
DM means: «Having your orders get people killed has infinite entertainment value.»
DM says: «This campaign is going to take place over a limited amount of time.»
DM means: «Time stands still until I arbitrarily move the clock forward and declare you've wasted enough of it.»
DM says: «You're surprised to see him cackle as he stands up from the seemingly-mortal blow you gave him and turn invisible.»
DM means: «I am now cheating because the goddamn Barbarian one-shotted the BBEG in the middle of his Plot Exposition Speech.»
DM says: «A strange magnetic field prevents teleportation...»
DM means: «Stop trying to circumvent a good heist plot, wizard.»
DM says: «Unfortunately the game's kind of full right now and we don't really have room for a new player. We'll get in touch if a space opens up, though.»
DM means: «We'd rather chew broken glass than have you in the group.»
DM says: «You stock up on supplies.»
DM means: «You can buy anything in the Equipment chapter of the PHB. Please don't ask me individually about every 5sp purchase.»
DM says: «I don't like the stereotype of [x].»
DM means: «Half the plot of the campaign will be twisted around to avoid something which I think is a cliche and which nobody else cares about.»
DM says: «I'm not sure that's balanced.»
DM means: «It's broken as all hell, I'm never going to allow it, stop asking.»
Players hear: «I'm only saying no because I need more convincing. Please explain in detail how reasonable your character is with long and detailed arguments that compare it to other classes and builds.»
DM says: «I recommend these skills.»
DM means: «Take these skills, or you will DIE.»
DM says: «I think a little mood music is in order.»
DM means: «Let's see you track your Power Attack when I'm pumping Metallica!»
DM says: «Yeah, we like the small efficient group.»
DM means: «All these guys know the house rules. To teach you is too much effort.»
DM says: «There's one issue. The wizard's tower is warded against scrying and teleportation.»
DM means: «OH IT LOOKS LIKE THE BOOT OF ELVENKIND'S ON THE OTHER FOOT NOW MR WIZARD.»
DM says: «You see an empty hallway.»
DM means: «DC 30 Search for traps, DC 25 to disable, complex skill check, 5 successes before 3 failures. Oh, and the water flooding may cause a lapse in concentration, so it comes out to...»
DM says: «So, tell me your character's background history.»
DM means: «So, tell me how I'm going to get you into the party and plot.»
Players hear: «So, tell me a good long story about your character's childhood.»
DM says: «Technically, you can do this.»
DM means: "...but woe betide you if you do."
DM Says: «If you have a problem, talk to me privately rather than in front of the others.»
DM Means: «I'm willing to hear you out. But undermine me and I will crush you.»
DM Says: «Let me double check that.»
DM Means: «I knew I should have read the rule book/actually planned a plot.»
ST says: «Okay, we're going to be playing a mortals game.»
ST means: «You're going to be playing mortals. I'm going to be playing whatever kind of supernatural creature I feel like. Soon, you'll be playing cadavers.»
Players hear: «It's going to be a race to see who can acquire the coolest template first.»
DM says: «I don't allow evil PCs in my campaign.»
DM means: «PCs are supposed to be heroes.»
Players hear: «So CN is okay, yeah? SLAUGHTER TIME!»
DM says: «If it doesn't say it in the rules, then I decide how it works.»
DM means: «Stop contradicting me.»
Players hear: «I need you to keep arguing with me.»
DM says: «Be nice to the other players.»
DM means: «Don't antagonize people.»
Players hear: «Be mean to the DM instead.»
DM says: «This is my first time DMing, I'm interested to see how I'll do.»
DM means: «Be merciful!»
DM said: «This will be a complex game of intrigue, Machiavellian politics, and a sophisticated diplomacy system.»
DM means: «There will be guillotining and TPKs galore.»
DM says: «As you enter the 's bedchamber, you see a beautiful woman chained to the wall.»
DM means: «It's totally a medusa that's going to try and kill you when you try to free her.»
DM says: «One of the orcs is wearing some sort of special robes. He looks to be of some importance.»
DM means: «This guy is special and has info on next hook. Don't kill him and interrogate him after the battle.»
Players hear: «Caster. Kill him now.»
DM says: «You come across a Balor mounted on a Tarrasque.»
DM meana: «Keep acting stupid/powergaming and see what happens.»
Players hear: «The DM realized we're awesome enough to kill this. Extra xp, booyah!»
DM says: «Player empowerment.»
DM means: «I'm too lazy to think of a plot, you come up with one.»
DM says: «Everyone can die, your life-and-death decisions really matter.»
DM means: «I love TPKs, decide however you want, you're all dead anyway.»
DM says: «Use any books you want.»
DM means: Either «I am far better at optimising than you and the monsters you face will show it.» or «I have no idea what I'm letting myself in for.»
DM says: «I have a few houserules.»
DM means: «I have a binder full of inconsistent and poorly written houserules, and draw resources from 5 different 3rd party supplements.»
DM says: «Plot driven.»
DM means: «I've decided what's happening. Your choices are moot.»
DM says: «This campaign will be fairly plot-driven.»
DM means: «GROVEL BEFORE MY UBERNPCS OR DIE, PUNY MORTAL.»
DM says: «Roleplay driven.»
DM means: «I have no plot. Talk amongst yourselves for 4 hours.»
DM says: «Centred on X culture/race» — DM means: «Which I'm an enormous fanboy of. I'll constantly tell you that you wouldn't do that, and insist that you pointlessly use snippets of the language and painfully roleplay out basic etiquette.»
DM says: «Low Magic setting...»
DM Means: "...for the PC's."
DM says: «Can I see everybody's character sheet for a bit?»
DM means: «Can I check everybody's will saves, spot checks, and listen checks to see who will not die horribly.»
DM says: «Who walked through the door first?»
DM means: «The door was trapped.»
DM says: «You've got the entire world to explore.»
DM means: «After 3 days of wandering, a traveling merchant directs you back towards the plot.»
DM says: «He's an extremely powerful and famous...»
DM means: «You are going to ally with him and you are going to like it.»
Players hear: «IT'S MURDERING TIME.»
DM says: «I am a big fan of the rule of cool...»
DM means: «That way my NPC's can be extra awesome!!!!»
DM says: «All of a sudden another group of orc's rushes in from the tunnel to the south!»
DM means: «Wow that first load of orcs died fast!»
DM says: «Are you sure?»
DM means: «Please do something else.»
Immediatly followed by…
DM says: "...Alright then..."
DM means: «DAMMIT LISTEN TO WHAT I IMPLY.»
DM says: «Are you sure you want to do that?»
DM means: «That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard and it will have horrible consequences. I just want you to know that.»
Players hear: «That is way more awesome than anything I planned and will make whatever you are doing a cakewalk.»
DM says: «So you're going to do [x], then [y]. Is that right?»
DM means: «This is the stupidest plan I've ever heard. I'm repeating it back to you in the probably vain hope that hearing it out loud will make you realise how idiotic it is.»
DM says: «Arrrrrrrrgh!!!
DM means: „You put your chair on my foot.“
DM Says: „You all wake up in jail with no memory of what happened.“
DM Means: „Remember all that time you spent buying equipment and picking a spell list? Pointless.“
DM Says: „I figured you guys were up to a little challenge.“
DM Means: „Abandon All Hope, ye who enters here.“
DM says: „The roads are precarious and rarely-traveled, for bandits and monsters prey on the foolish who leave the relative safety of their city walls.“
DM means: „Only 3 cities exist in the entire world. Sure hope you didn't make any urban-based characters!“
DM says: „You can play as any race, except Drow.“
DM Means: „The BBEG is the entire Drow race.“
DM Says: „The dragon was hording ABC,XYZ,000 gold pieces.“
DM Means: „I forgot encumbrance existed.“
DM Says: „I am very strict about whatever you say, your character says.“
DM Means: „Whatever you say, your character says, as long as the outcome is beneficial to me.“
DM Says: „You see an idyllic cottage in the middle of a forested grove. Smoke gently drifts up from the chimney, and the door is open and looks very inviting.“
DM Means: „You guys are about to roll SO many Will saves!“
DM Says: „I've put a lot of work into this plot...“
DM Means: „All aboard! This train leaves in 1 minute!“
DM says: „I like detailed character backgrounds.“
DM means: „I'd like a name for your Doomed Hometown, and the names of at least three of your character's close family and friends who can be killed and/or kidnapped by the BBEG.“
Обоснование… слушай, я два раза целиком прочитал гфшный дневник Радагаста, пытаясь его найти, и не нашёл. Похоже, он его стёр — с ним бывает. А сам я боюсь, что если буду восстанавливать его по памяти, ошибусь в каких-то деталях и полностью искажу смысл… :(
*в сторону* Радагаст, помнится, на РПГО говорил, что за слова «рассы любые» в объявлении о наборе игроков следует отлучать от ГМства… И обосновывал, почему.
Meaning: «You went to go pick a fight with that? You knew this was a bad idea, run for it.»
Players hear: «Boss Fight Ho!»
DM says: «This bunch of people over here are your troops.»
DM means: «Having your orders get people killed has infinite entertainment value.»
DM says: «This campaign is going to take place over a limited amount of time.»
DM means: «Time stands still until I arbitrarily move the clock forward and declare you've wasted enough of it.»
DM says: «You're surprised to see him cackle as he stands up from the seemingly-mortal blow you gave him and turn invisible.»
DM means: «I am now cheating because the goddamn Barbarian one-shotted the BBEG in the middle of his Plot Exposition Speech.»
DM says: «A strange magnetic field prevents teleportation...»
DM means: «Stop trying to circumvent a good heist plot, wizard.»
DM says: «Unfortunately the game's kind of full right now and we don't really have room for a new player. We'll get in touch if a space opens up, though.»
DM means: «We'd rather chew broken glass than have you in the group.»
DM says: «You stock up on supplies.»
DM means: «You can buy anything in the Equipment chapter of the PHB. Please don't ask me individually about every 5sp purchase.»
DM says: «I don't like the stereotype of [x].»
DM means: «Half the plot of the campaign will be twisted around to avoid something which I think is a cliche and which nobody else cares about.»
DM says: «I'm not sure that's balanced.»
DM means: «It's broken as all hell, I'm never going to allow it, stop asking.»
Players hear: «I'm only saying no because I need more convincing. Please explain in detail how reasonable your character is with long and detailed arguments that compare it to other classes and builds.»
DM says: «No.»
DM means: «Hell no.»
Players hears: «Maybe.»
DM says: «I recommend these skills.»
DM means: «Take these skills, or you will DIE.»
DM says: «I think a little mood music is in order.»
DM means: «Let's see you track your Power Attack when I'm pumping Metallica!»
DM says: «Yeah, we like the small efficient group.»
DM means: «All these guys know the house rules. To teach you is too much effort.»
DM says: «There's one issue. The wizard's tower is warded against scrying and teleportation.»
DM means: «OH IT LOOKS LIKE THE BOOT OF ELVENKIND'S ON THE OTHER FOOT NOW MR WIZARD.»
DM says: «You see an empty hallway.»
DM means: «DC 30 Search for traps, DC 25 to disable, complex skill check, 5 successes before 3 failures. Oh, and the water flooding may cause a lapse in concentration, so it comes out to...»
DM says: «So, tell me your character's background history.»
DM means: «So, tell me how I'm going to get you into the party and plot.»
Players hear: «So, tell me a good long story about your character's childhood.»
DM says: «Technically, you can do this.»
DM means: "...but woe betide you if you do."
DM Says: «If you have a problem, talk to me privately rather than in front of the others.»
DM Means: «I'm willing to hear you out. But undermine me and I will crush you.»
DM Says: «Let me double check that.»
DM Means: «I knew I should have read the rule book/actually planned a plot.»
ST says: «Okay, we're going to be playing a mortals game.»
ST means: «You're going to be playing mortals. I'm going to be playing whatever kind of supernatural creature I feel like. Soon, you'll be playing cadavers.»
Players hear: «It's going to be a race to see who can acquire the coolest template first.»
DM says: «I don't allow evil PCs in my campaign.»
DM means: «PCs are supposed to be heroes.»
Players hear: «So CN is okay, yeah? SLAUGHTER TIME!»
DM says: «If it doesn't say it in the rules, then I decide how it works.»
DM means: «Stop contradicting me.»
Players hear: «I need you to keep arguing with me.»
DM says: «Be nice to the other players.»
DM means: «Don't antagonize people.»
Players hear: «Be mean to the DM instead.»
DM says: «This is my first time DMing, I'm interested to see how I'll do.»
DM means: «Be merciful!»
DM said: «This will be a complex game of intrigue, Machiavellian politics, and a sophisticated diplomacy system.»
DM means: «There will be guillotining and TPKs galore.»
DM says: «As you enter the 's bedchamber, you see a beautiful woman chained to the wall.»
DM means: «It's totally a medusa that's going to try and kill you when you try to free her.»
DM says: «One of the orcs is wearing some sort of special robes. He looks to be of some importance.»
DM means: «This guy is special and has info on next hook. Don't kill him and interrogate him after the battle.»
Players hear: «Caster. Kill him now.»
DM says: «You come across a Balor mounted on a Tarrasque.»
DM meana: «Keep acting stupid/powergaming and see what happens.»
Players hear: «The DM realized we're awesome enough to kill this. Extra xp, booyah!»
DM says: «Player empowerment.»
DM means: «I'm too lazy to think of a plot, you come up with one.»
DM says: «Everyone can die, your life-and-death decisions really matter.»
DM means: «I love TPKs, decide however you want, you're all dead anyway.»
DM says: «Use any books you want.»
DM means: Either «I am far better at optimising than you and the monsters you face will show it.» or «I have no idea what I'm letting myself in for.»
DM says: «I have a few houserules.»
DM means: «I have a binder full of inconsistent and poorly written houserules, and draw resources from 5 different 3rd party supplements.»
DM says: «Plot driven.»
DM means: «I've decided what's happening. Your choices are moot.»
DM says: «This campaign will be fairly plot-driven.»
DM means: «GROVEL BEFORE MY UBERNPCS OR DIE, PUNY MORTAL.»
DM says: «Roleplay driven.»
DM means: «I have no plot. Talk amongst yourselves for 4 hours.»
DM says: «Gritty.»
DM means: «Deadly.»
DM says: «Very heroic.»
DM means: «Makes carebears look un-fluffy. Risk = zero.»
DM says: «Centred on X culture/race» — DM means: «Which I'm an enormous fanboy of. I'll constantly tell you that you wouldn't do that, and insist that you pointlessly use snippets of the language and painfully roleplay out basic etiquette.»
DM says: «Low Magic setting...»
DM Means: "...for the PC's."
DM says: «Can I see everybody's character sheet for a bit?»
DM means: «Can I check everybody's will saves, spot checks, and listen checks to see who will not die horribly.»
DM says: «Who walked through the door first?»
DM means: «The door was trapped.»
DM says: «You guys aren't roleplaying enough!»
DM means: «Stop optimizing dammit!»
DM says: «You've got the entire world to explore.»
DM means: «After 3 days of wandering, a traveling merchant directs you back towards the plot.»
DM says: «He's an extremely powerful and famous...»
DM means: «You are going to ally with him and you are going to like it.»
Players hear: «IT'S MURDERING TIME.»
DM says: «I am a big fan of the rule of cool...»
DM means: «That way my NPC's can be extra awesome!!!!»
DM says: «All of a sudden another group of orc's rushes in from the tunnel to the south!»
DM means: «Wow that first load of orcs died fast!»
DM says: «Are you sure?»
DM means: «Please do something else.»
Immediatly followed by…
DM says: "...Alright then..."
DM means: «DAMMIT LISTEN TO WHAT I IMPLY.»
DM says: «Are you sure you want to do that?»
DM means: «That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard and it will have horrible consequences. I just want you to know that.»
Players hear: «That is way more awesome than anything I planned and will make whatever you are doing a cakewalk.»
DM says: «So you're going to do [x], then [y]. Is that right?»
DM means: «This is the stupidest plan I've ever heard. I'm repeating it back to you in the probably vain hope that hearing it out loud will make you realise how idiotic it is.»
DM says: «Arrrrrrrrgh!!!
DM means: „You put your chair on my foot.“
DM Says: „You all wake up in jail with no memory of what happened.“
DM Means: „Remember all that time you spent buying equipment and picking a spell list? Pointless.“
DM Says: „I figured you guys were up to a little challenge.“
DM Means: „Abandon All Hope, ye who enters here.“
DM says: „The roads are precarious and rarely-traveled, for bandits and monsters prey on the foolish who leave the relative safety of their city walls.“
DM means: „Only 3 cities exist in the entire world. Sure hope you didn't make any urban-based characters!“
DM says: „You can play as any race, except Drow.“
DM Means: „The BBEG is the entire Drow race.“
DM Says: „The dragon was hording ABC,XYZ,000 gold pieces.“
DM Means: „I forgot encumbrance existed.“
DM Says: „I am very strict about whatever you say, your character says.“
DM Means: „Whatever you say, your character says, as long as the outcome is beneficial to me.“
DM Says: „You see an idyllic cottage in the middle of a forested grove. Smoke gently drifts up from the chimney, and the door is open and looks very inviting.“
DM Means: „You guys are about to roll SO many Will saves!“
DM Says: „I've put a lot of work into this plot...“
DM Means: „All aboard! This train leaves in 1 minute!“
DM says: „I like detailed character backgrounds.“
DM means: „I'd like a name for your Doomed Hometown, and the names of at least three of your character's close family and friends who can be killed and/or kidnapped by the BBEG.“
идиотжестоко ошибается.